It is 3am. I toss and turn thinking of countless imagined insults and degradations from childhood to now. The weight of the planet seems to press against my chest or is it just my weak heart? I worry about the unknowable future. Sleep is impossible, but at some point exhaustion overcomes all and for a few minutes I live in dreams. I wake up to the first golden light of morning, go outside and see that both the world and I have survived the terrible terrible night.